How to Build a Weekly Care Plan for a Parent Living at Home

A weekly care plan answers one question: across a normal week, what does your parent need, who is doing it now, and where is nobody? You do not need software or a binder. You need a list, a grid, and a conversation with the people who will share the work.

The advice below draws on the National Institute on Aging (NIA) and the Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA). It is meant for families coordinating non-medical, everyday support. Medical decisions belong with your parent's health care providers.

Start with what is actually needed

The NIA's guide to getting started says caregiving “involves helping another person with everyday activities and tasks,” and lists the kinds of activities a caregiver may help with:

• Personal care, such as dressing, bathing, grooming, using the toilet, and brushing teeth
• Household tasks, such as shopping, laundry, and cleaning
• Preparing food, feeding, and monitoring dietary restrictions
• Health care, including talking to doctors, coordinating medical appointments, and keeping track of medications
• Transportation, such as car rides to appointments
• Financial and legal matters, such as paying bills and organizing important documents

The NIA also says: “The best way to know what someone needs is to ask them directly.” Ask your parent what is getting hard and what they want to keep doing for themselves before you build anything.

Make two lists

The FCA suggests a simple way to see the picture. “Make a list of all you do as a caregiver.” Then, “make a second list of where you see gaps in their needs and care.” Finally, “circle items that you might be able to delegate to others and the times you need help.”

Be specific. The FCA's own examples are concrete: keeping Mom company and preparing her lunch while you are at work, or giving Dad a ride to the senior center on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 9:00 a.m.

Turn the lists into a weekly grid

Draw a grid with the parts of the day down one side. For each one, write what is needed, who does it now, and whether there is a gap. Use a pencil: the first draft is for seeing, not for committing.

Fill it in for a normal week, then for a hard week. The gaps that show up in both are the ones to solve first.

Share the load on purpose

The NIA describes splitting responsibilities as “a multistep process”: figure out what care is needed, choose a primary caregiver, and decide who is responsible for which tasks. It suggests meeting with the older person and everyone involved, and notes that the conversation “will be most productive when there is not an emergency.”

Its prompts for dividing tasks are practical: who lives close enough to help with day-to-day tasks, who is good with numbers, and who can step in occasionally so the primary caregiver can take a break. The NIA's advice for the plan itself is that “ideally, each person providing care will be able to take on the tasks best suited to their skills and interests.”

Run a short family meeting

• Include everyone on the caregiving team, which the FCA says may include “a family friend, neighbor, or paid caregiver,” and get your parent's input if you can.
• Bring a list of tasks that need doing, and write down what each person agrees to do.
• Meet again. The FCA stresses that “the meeting is not a one-time event.” It suggests a regular time, and at least a meeting whenever the situation changes.
• If someone cannot attend, keep in touch by phone, mail or email. The FCA notes that a meeting can be held in person, by phone or by video.

Keep the essentials in one place

The NIA suggests a shared notebook: “a notebook with details about the care recipient’s medical care, social services, contact numbers, financial information, and other pertinent details,” kept on paper in a central place or electronically. Its advice is to “make sure everyone has access to the caregiving notebook and that it is reviewed regularly and updated as needed.”

One practical detail from the NIA: you generally need written permission to receive medical information about another adult unless they are with you in person and able to give consent. The health care provider's office can explain the process and provide the forms.

Build around their preferences

A plan your parent resists will not hold. The NIA's advice: “Then try to fulfill the person’s wishes to the extent possible.” Its example is a parent who wants to keep cooking at home, to whom you could offer to arrange regular grocery delivery, with “practical help” and “specific examples of what can be done.”

Review it, and expect it to change

The NIA says: “Check in with the older person and the other caregivers regularly to make sure the current arrangement is still working for everyone. Update the plan for sharing tasks as circumstances change.” Put the review on the calendar, for example the first Sunday of the month.

Where paid help fits

Some gaps will not close with family alone. The NIA says, “You don’t have to do everything yourself,” and that depending on the need you might “hire a home health aide to visit on a regular basis, arrange transportation so the person can run errands, or speak with a geriatric care manager to help coordinate care.”

Non-medical help can cover many of the grid's gaps: household support for meals and laundry, personal care for hands-on routines, companion care for company, transportation and errands, and respite care for the person carrying most of it. To tell whether a gap is non-medical, see our guide to non-medical home care and home health care. The Eldercare Locator, at 800-677-1116, can help you find local resources.